look, if you don't appreciate it, just say it okay. im telling you now that its necessary. you said you wanted to go. you can't just say you want to go and not do anything about it. you don't know how much effort the rest put in, you don't understand and now because of your own selfishness you don't want to play your part? so whats the point of saying you want to go? i'd rather you not go than you go and screw up the entire thing. its not that we can go either, so if we actually can go, i do not want you to bloody wreck everything. seriously, its much easier to play the bad guy and be mean at all times. your kindness will not get reciprocated, you are just mistreating yourself if you are nice to people. sometimes its not worth it to put in 100%. i want to buy a punching bag, the big and fat one like a huge bolster. it will allow me to vent my anger properly. and i want a dartboard too. so i can paste some irritating asshole's picture there and throw darts at it until that person is totally disfigured.